The Ten Truths of Marriage

Article by Dr. Michael Tobin

Ten hard truths about how to avoid marital pitfalls and how to create a successful marriage:

1. You can’t make anyone love you and nobody can make you happy.

2. Try all you want; you’ll never change your partner. However, if you change yourself, your partner may change.

3. People don’t marry people; they marry illusions and fantasies. (What a surprise to discover that your partner is as human as you are.)

4. A real marriage begins just at the point where the illusion ends. The challenge of marriage is to discover who you married.

5. Love is only one of the reasons we choose a partner. (Sometimes, it’s not the most important.)

6. Most likely, the qualities that now drive you crazy are the same ones that first attracted you to your partner.

7. It is impossible to go through a relationship without experiencing periods of pain and loneliness.

8. The greatest gift you can give your children is a loving marriage.

9. A marriage succeeds when each of us realizes that our partner’s needs are at least as important as our own.

10. Marriage is the best opportunity to grow, overcome selfishness and learn how to love.

All images are Martin Holt Originals

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